Endings: My Last Day on the Job.

My beautiful office with the little garden outside my window.

Yesterday, I worked my last day.  I’m not sure my brain realizes that yet. I didn’t feel like I’d quit my job. I felt like… Friday.  Just Friday.

I expected to feel an array of emotions and feelings on my last day. Most of all, I thought that when the big day came I would feel relieved and excited. What I didn’t expect to feel was tired. But tired topped the list.  I felt bone tired. Tired enough to sleep for hours. And that’s exactly what I did. I came home after dinner, sat down on the sofa, and slept the evening away until I woke up sometime after midnight.office_040

I spent my final day lunching with friends, having coffee with friends, talking and laughing with friends. My co-workers have been my circle of friends for 12 years and I’m not sure what I’ll do without their daily companionship. I feel guilty to be leaving them. I feel lucky to be me. Many of them would love to be wearing my shoes today.
What I won’t miss is the driving. Over 12 years I’ve driven my route to work somewhere in the neighborhood of 5200 times. And I hope to never have to drive that route ever again.

I won’t miss being the first to arrive at work every morning. With hands full, I fight with my keys to unlock the front door and disengage the security alarm without spilling my coffee or scattering paperwork all over the floor.

I certainly won’t miss staff meetings sitting around a cold table in uncomfortable chairs for two hours. I won’t miss writing press releases. I won’t miss designing show programs which never change except for the title and list of cast names. I won’t miss working for an organization where the cash flow means there are too few employees trying to pull off too many events.

I’m anxious to see what new ideas a new department head will bring. Already my job is being changed to give my replacement some of the time I’d begged for.  Duties are being shifted to others or being eliminated. It will, hopefully, allow him or her a better shot at becoming successful. I’m pleased that there will be someone as excited to take my job.

On Monday morning perhaps I will realize what I’ve done–quit a job and left myself with no place to go and nothing to do. But I can’t really say that. There is always something to do. I’ve never known boredom. Life is too full of adventure. I have a camera class to take and a winter vacation to plan. There are museums to wander, antique stores to browse, and projects to delve into. Books to read, places to go…Oh I do so want to be an explorer!

But as of now, I have no plan for Monday and while it feels strange and surreal, I sort of like it that way. Tomorrow, perhaps, I’ll feel like making a plan. Today, I’ll be happy to enjoy a second cup of coffee and watch the birds outside my window. I think I’ll have another nap…

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